Feminism

I am done with Feminism. Most likely not feminists, but definitely feminism. Sorry I can't help you with feminism. I really want to, but I can't.

I will probably miss feminist literature, as I basically grew up on the stuff. 4 years at art school with great lesbian professors, 12 years at a Montessori style school where liberal ideas such as feminism, were highlighted and shown for their great virtues.

There are some "feminists" like Bell Hooks, who I will miss.  'Feminism is for everybody', that is a book that has ideas I can get behind. But basically the moment the word feminism gets used, I just can't read it anymore.

Why?

There is a super dark side to feminism, and some women who call themselves feminist are often tone deaf to their own paradoxical views. Not all, and not all the time, but definitely most, some of the time.

The last two waves of feminism in the news has been gamer-gate, and then a more recent general verbal and sometimes physical abuse or threats toward feminist bloggers. If you missed it here is http://gawker.com/what-is-gamergate-and-why-an-explainer-for-non-geeks-1642909080

I am a father, a son, a husband, and a friend to many of the female, girl, woman, or whatever you want to call the people that don't have a Y chromosome. So, when men abuse them, I get mad, and want to do something about it. This however is not very welcome in the feminist community.

The first thing I usually do when trying to figure out a problem is to ask ignorant questions. I find it's good when first learning about an issue to admit ignorance, and work from there. So I'll ask questions like what is Gamer-gate? Why are these men so mad? What did the feminists say that made these men so mad? Then why does, such and such, make women mad? It's this last one that I gets me in a lot of trouble. Apparently asking this question is at best very insensitive and apart of the hegemonic misogyny embedded in our culture; at worst it is an active repression of women and the very reason feminists are so angry. Sorry. This gamer gate has made women so defensive that they are lashing out. Please, stop.

Please calm down. Sometimes the fear, or reaction to something does more harm than the actual action. Don't get caught up in a black and white fallacy, it may not only be harmful to others but harmful to yourself.

But after that there is usually at least one or two nice feminists which will provide a link to a blog post or explain it succinctly. That will help me understand the female point of view, in a way that at least part of my brain can understand, so that it can explain it to all the other parts. Relativity is difficult, and being able to see all sides of an issue takes a great deal of empathy. At the end of the process I am usually rewarded with a feeling of accomplishment when I finally figure out the problem.

This is when the real problems begins. I try to help. Often I will make a suggestion. Feminists do not like it when men make suggestions. Especially white men, apparently we are a privileged class that should not be making suggestions on how to deal with other angry white men. So when I suggest that maybe we should change the fem in feminist, to something that I could stand behind, like gender equality. Maybe geninist... or genderist... I don't really know, I am kind of just brainstorming. This is apparently a no no. Men, according to feminists bloggers, are not feminists, and shouldn't try to be.

http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/10/you-want-to-be-a-male-feminist-maybe-dont.html

So, I won't. No more clicking on feminist blogs, no more discussing feminism with friends, no more feminism on facebook, or any other social media site. It's /ignore, block, or filtering all the content that has the word feminist, feminism, or any off shoot like feministas... etc. But, I'll still catch up on the fashionistas,

There are definitely some feminism I will miss, but I think it may just be better this way. Good luck with the misogynists, if they actually exist. I'll spare you my semiotic analysis, and cognitive comparison of the word, because that one got me into a lot of hot water as well. Besides some people, like myself will just make a larger mess,

However, if your a woman, man, bi-sexual, trans-gender, trans-sexual, a-sexual... ok  I am going to stop because there are just too many, I'll still be here to lend a hand in the gender equality struggle, and if you have a gender equality blog, I'll read that too, just don't mention feminism.